Never fun to be a prisoner inside one's head.

Depression is a harsh thing to deal with. It eats away at oneself. It destroys friendship. It isolates people. It is what I have been diagnosed with and what the doctors have said I had for years. Great.
They have given me some tablets, and told me to get CBT. The only bad thing is that now that I live in East London it will take a while for me to see someone over there.
Advice they have given me is the obvious. Do not isolate oneself. Stay with friends. Read. Do things that you enjoy.
The only bad thing is that the drugs they gave are giving me more side effects then the depression has. So I feel to tired to work in the hospital. So I am now on benefits and feel to drugged to do most other things. This is not a good way to be I know..But what I do..?


At least I am getting help now right..?

So this is Spain huh..?

As I have never been out of the great United Kingston, except to visit Poland and Ireland, I jumped at the chance to visit Spain.
I was lucky. Anna's friend Maya needed someone to go with her to look after her baby Daughter while she was in a convention in Madrid. As I was free (and in the mood for an adventure I agreed. Who wouldn't want to have a free holiday with a beautiful baby and cool woman, where the only "job" was to babysit for a few hours for 3 days? Bargain I thought!

First I went to Luton on Friday where Maya lives. Luton is a tiny village it seem- and when I went out in the night with the Au Pair Anishca (Polish Girl), it was easy to find the best places to go out.




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Was only briefly though as I had to get up at dawn for the flight. Did get to meet the lil one-Suzie. A glorious 3 year old.
Maya's lover Tony was dropping us off at the Airport in the morning, and it occurred to me I have not been on the plane for years-and I was not a good flier then anyway.
As we got on the plane my heart started racing.. It was made worst when I turned and saw lil Suzie smiling and not at all fazed by the fact we would be up in the air in a tin can creation by humans. Gulp.
Took pictures to take my mind off that fact..









Obviously we made it to the other side okay, even either with the check out delays. Suzie did a few dances to entertain us:

First thing we did after getting our luggage was get on the Metro to our hotel. It was a cute chain called 4C.


Headed to the main town square after. I laughed as it was called Sol and this band was playing outside:

That and a London reference:
Exploring Madrid showed with it's The Street Performers:





Beautiiful Parks and wildlife:



It's quirky..designs:

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Fountains:



And a zillion Churches...Maya seemed content to see every one first hand and I was ont one to complain- Catholic Churches can take your breath away:





We also sampled a lot of the food there. The food was salty and not like La Tasca at all.I was surprised at the price too!Still the locals were friendly enough. Did embarrass myself with broken Spainish a lot of the time. This was a typical meal..Half pints and potato with sauce. Tasty though :)





The muesums were also something that I admired. They seemed to be one on every street. Some were closed but the one I wanted to see the Prada was open for business.
It was so big we got lost trying to find the exit after a while.
Spain seemed obessesed by having Play parks for the little ones everywhere as well. Good for little Suize who seemed to enjoy herself in her own way.


The next day Sunday was similar in nature: Explore the inside of Spain:

After being woken up by a beautiful Suzie:



We helped ourselves to the buffet breakfast. There was no warm things to eat like eggs or sausages. We were offered a range of buns, cakes, fruit and tea/coffee/ fruit juice. A weird experience for someone how eats hot porridge most days.



We saw some weird buildings like the Spainish version of the Leaning tower of Piza..

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To a Egyptian temple that they gave Spain as a present..Right.






I feel in love with this Artist to, who was drawing simple designs of wall tiles. I thought he was good enough to buy from. Pity I did not realize that the paint was not dry yet and it got smudged badly :S





We also saw some more gardens:

Saw a wish box where you put the old Spainese coins into it..



And shopped on the main high street with the random dancers:






As our blood sugar was dropping, a meal of random tapas in a cheap looking place was what we did. It was not cheap at all, and the Waiter was annoying. I didn't know he spoke English so I gestured to him for 5 minutes before he let me know. He also thought Suzie was my daughter so led to minor embarrassment..

Chocolate was good-as Suzie shows!






Also got some really cheap Booze. The "kiss" cider was so cheap. Like 60p or so I think.




The wine was nice. Got really drunk and made a fool of myself. After an hour or so drinking, I got it into my head to go to the kitchen and get food. Tried to steal what I thought was a box of biscuits. It turned out to be a big box of juice, 10 liters to be exact. Did not stop me, as, after I realized and Maja finished laughing, I went down for round. I found a load of fruit, In the progress of bringing it up to the room, I got stopped by another guest who saw the big load of fruit and made me put it back. Shameful.

The next 2 days I was along with Suzie while Maya went off to the conference. I thought I would more nervous then I was in taking care of one so young. I think I managed okie though! Took her to the parks mostly. I never realized how hard ot is to manage a heavy buggy and an equally heavy toddler. Glad she feel asleep a lot of the time. Allowed me to go back to the hotel guilt free to have some zzz time myself (Golly, I would make a sucky mother!)






Still fun times though. Was not that impressed by the Macdonald's. I know, I know. I got to Spain and I eat the typical Big mac..So shoot me. Typical English and all..



Maya invited us to join her for the tapas Lunch on Tuesday which was cool. Got to eat all fancy dishes set out in a big hotel..then I took the little one to the park. Unfortunatly that is where my camera died. Stupid battery. I did have one more day more there before getting back to deary England (Weather, so good in Spain. No need for a jacket at all!) I was lucky because, as Maya's work lectures were cut short, we had a free tour guide to learn about Madrid. Went to the palace and saw the Guards changing. Saw the bull fighting place. Saw more gardens and streets. Saw a famous shopping place where all the locals go for fresh meat and fish and olives. Saw the oldest resturant in the world..(Called Botin). Forgot what else I saw. To be honest, I missed London a tad much and was looking forward to jacket potatoes and seeing rainy skies again. What can I say? At least I made a good friend. Me and Maya talked a lot about life, men and where we are heading. She is a smart woman to chat to , and I enjoyed her company. That and Suzie was amazing. Don't you think we look like we are related? tee hee.