*Life. Sex and Rock and Roll*.

Okie, So it is been a while since I posted here. Life has been packed from morning to night so I have little time to reflect or brood on the past. Adding to the fact that Twitter and My Tumblr make it really easy to update compared to blogspot and you get a dying webpage that was my best friend for rants and tears.

So what have I been up to since..August?
Well, working mostly. The lovely people in Wolfson centre booked me for most of the month to my joy. I did all my big adventures in July so I was happy to be able to pay off the summer debts (Which I did-now only the overdraft to tackle!.)
I also brought a new camera after having to rely heavily on other people's to even take a snap as I broke my one in Latitude.
September saw me get a year older in style and also brought the return of Uni. Yes. I am once again in the ranks of the student army.
I almost cried when I saw that they were going to place me in A and E again. I managed to get in changed to CTITU (Cardiac Intensive Care).
I been there 5 ways so far and doing okie (Fingers crossed).
Love life is weird and wonderous. After the split I changed a lot in myself in terms of accepting what I am and what I need. Although I have not found it *exactly*, still due to trust issues, I am getting there. I meet a guy that seems determine to see me go far no matter what, and with him, came a new circle to play and network with. I owe him a lot more then he realised. *nods in his direction*.

Adventures have been on a different track rather then my usual. Adventures of self awareness, self image and self love were more the focus these weeks then the physical "let's explore the world". Whispers of hate go round my head at myself, but at least they are whispers not shouts.
I have an outlet for tears and no real reason to hide what I am feeling, even though it takes a lifetime to break old habits.

Anyway, to end on a happy note here is what I have been through:
~Started experimenting with my sexuality and the BDSM World. Fitted in so well it was like I never was without it.
~Went to Hastings on my first camping trip..And survived to agree to go again
-Went on a hunt for the best clubs in East London again: The bookclub I think is my favourite.
~Went out 3 times in a row to celebrate the fact I am a lil older (and hopefully wiser).
~Found out the joy of tumblr and photography agaon
~Passed my snapshot and passing placement it seems
~Learning to be selfish in a productive way, especially when it comes to my feelings verus someone else.
~Having Anna's usual Pancake Dinner parties
~Having many trips to the cinema :)

Boo ya.
The happiness is back!

Soo this is Tumblr then?

Okie, so as I am a proud black berry owner, and everyone was talking about the greatness of Tumblr, I am moving shop to see what it is like myself. I am moving my blog and online writing time to this page instead:

It means that I will be posting more regularly though. So see you guys later!
Ciao!
:)

Soo..this is the Single life for me then?

So apart from the "woe is me, he left me, how can I cope *cries and drinks*" post and "the List" of the perfect man for me post, I have been oddly quiet.
It is not because my depression over another failed long term relationship took me over the edge, indeed, it seemed to breathe life into me and give me back my pixiedust that was slowly being drained out of me. I have had so much adventures Since March I hardly had time to breathe let along write in details over where I have been and what I have seen..
From the sheets of new lovers to seeing live music to giggling with friends, this Summer was the Summer of Adventures for sure.

So a quick Summary of the highlights:

• Playing and completing Pokemon Gold. I am that cool at being a (causal) gamer, this goes first!
• Going to Bath in April and then in May to see my good friend Dan Artsie. We explored the hills, the national trust park, Saw Lions, and witnessed his Graduation. I also met his Mother for his first time. Very cool woman.
• Getting back on track to University. Going back in September and getting my Bursary too. I get paid to complete the training. *Dances*.
• Going to Bristol to visit Waffle. It was a weekend of intriguing catch ups and seeing a more relaxed Bristol.
• TENBY! yes, I went for the weekend for Brenda's birthday. Wales was amazing. Paint balling, beaches, Urban exploring, welsh cakes and going on the track for go karting!
  
• Sheffield for The Beach Party (Dan's 21st) and Then for the Big Brother house with with the introduction of Sam. His Blog and version if you care to read is here.
• Going back to Work and getting off benefits and sorting my head out a lot better. Off the anti depressions and Self harming stops being so regular :)
• Saying a final goodbye to my close Friend Belinda and her lover as they depart to Australia for a year
  
• Going to Wimbledon Tennis with a new face in my life, Clockwise..and realizing how much I hate tennis..Urgh.
• Going for many BBQ's in various parks!
  
• Seeing Wireless! Wooh! Finally seeing Pink!
• Going Camping in Latitude! 54 acts in 3 and half Days..<3
• Going to Ben and Jerry's for the 2 days..Free Ice creams and many happy moments with friends
• Going to see many bands and my beloved La Rebla Fam and Mad Ramblings!

And the plans for the future?
Well to carry on with the adventures and get my PIN. All good times me think!

• Planning to go to Berlin for the Xmas holidays and qualifying just before then :)
• Going to Travel to America with a certain Hayley if Funds allow it and see a certain Lori
  
• To enjoy the joy of being free, young and with a good job. :)

Wooh. Pixie's back!

See you all soon!

(And thank you all for helping me get back my spirits in the hard times of Winter and Spring. I never forgot your help, support and constant Love. Especially Cookie, Sparrow, Mr D, Raz and my Mama. God knows I am happy to know you!)

So how is the single life fr you?

Wales

Some bad videos of Wales. Fun times I hope :)

WLTM a serendipity now..

So I was in the pub with a good friend when I thought I should write a list.
Yes, I resorted to writing a list to see what sort of Person I want to be with..A clear idea of who I wish the universe would send in my direction..That and I was having a laugh at Dan's expression when he read it after it was done!
Anyway, here is the list:


Pixiewolfe's lover shall agree with (most) of these statements:

-Thou Shall be a Serendipity
-Thou shall not want butt Sex or Rim me and try to kiss me straight after. That is just eww.
-Thou shall like Manga and Anime
-Thou Shall be spontaneous with Romance
-Thou shall respect the Pixiewolfe's Music taste
-Thou shall like Nature
-Thou shall not want Children
-Thou shall love rats and Sea Monkey
-Thou Shall give a satisfactory answer to the Robin Hood Morality Test (Which is here!)
-Thou Shall enjoy webcomics
-Thou Shall not argue about beliefs to the point of making the other cry
-Thou Shall be sexually comparable and sexually desire the PixieWolfe. PixieWolfe must also desire them.
-Both Shall be liked by both sets of friends. Friends are my family.
Thou shall not use violence to get his own way.
-Thou shall be respectful and truthful. Even if it hurts.
-Thou shall not be a homosexual
-Thou shall not be a A) Chav B) Fashion Slave C) A faker
-Must understand my laugh is not fake
-Must play at least one console to understand the joy of gaming
-Must own at least one Tim Burton movie that does not include Planet of the Apes
-Must get on with the family, or live outside the family house
-Thou shall not take drugs or excessive alcohol (I personally hate it!)
-Must enjoy traveling and Gigs..Even if you cannot afford it.
-Must not hold extreme left or right views.
-Must blog, vlog or have a facebook to ensure ease of online stalking.
-Must be able to deal with my craziness..

Anyway, sure there will be more to add to the list.

For now, night night my lovers! x

If you want me I will be a bit emo for the next few weeks.

So I have been cheated on. By John. Who is now dating the girl he cheated on me with.

I am not happy.

There is nothing more to say except we have split up and it is killing me.

I have not opened my heart out to another guy since Nick or Gary. I don't think I will again.

At least not for a long while til I can overcome the shame and pain of it.

Makes me ask questions I rather not answer:
Why was I not good enough? Why did you not dump me before hand? How long did he cheat on me? Did he cheat on me before, in our 2 and a bit year relationship? Why did he lie about it when confronted- and then still be emotional manipulative to try to control the situation? Why did he keep saying he want me back but make no effect to get back with me..though still claim that I left a hole in his heart when I left? Why did I give him a second chance when he hurt me badly before- or a first chance when I did not want to date him in the first place? How many people knew before me? Why didn't he realize a depressive, suicidal woman did not want to know a man was a lying cheater, and it made me retreat so far into myself it hurts?
.............
I guess most of the questions can be answered with: He is a big fat loser that does not deserve you because you are (insert nice adjectives here).

It does not help knowing that his friends are disgusted, the "new" girlfriend is going to France in a few months, showing he is using her as a way to feel the hole and I have been asked out already.
It does not help that now I got more free time to plan holidays, not feel stupid reading web comics or waste time trying to understand and compromise.

It does help that I have fantastic friends that have let me cry on their shoulders for the weeks where the heartbreak has been too hard to bear.
Hopefully more more smiles and adventures soon.

Boo.