If you want me I will be a bit emo for the next few weeks.

So I have been cheated on. By John. Who is now dating the girl he cheated on me with.

I am not happy.

There is nothing more to say except we have split up and it is killing me.

I have not opened my heart out to another guy since Nick or Gary. I don't think I will again.

At least not for a long while til I can overcome the shame and pain of it.

Makes me ask questions I rather not answer:
Why was I not good enough? Why did you not dump me before hand? How long did he cheat on me? Did he cheat on me before, in our 2 and a bit year relationship? Why did he lie about it when confronted- and then still be emotional manipulative to try to control the situation? Why did he keep saying he want me back but make no effect to get back with me..though still claim that I left a hole in his heart when I left? Why did I give him a second chance when he hurt me badly before- or a first chance when I did not want to date him in the first place? How many people knew before me? Why didn't he realize a depressive, suicidal woman did not want to know a man was a lying cheater, and it made me retreat so far into myself it hurts?
.............
I guess most of the questions can be answered with: He is a big fat loser that does not deserve you because you are (insert nice adjectives here).

It does not help knowing that his friends are disgusted, the "new" girlfriend is going to France in a few months, showing he is using her as a way to feel the hole and I have been asked out already.
It does not help that now I got more free time to plan holidays, not feel stupid reading web comics or waste time trying to understand and compromise.

It does help that I have fantastic friends that have let me cry on their shoulders for the weeks where the heartbreak has been too hard to bear.
Hopefully more more smiles and adventures soon.

Boo.